Before my wife and I settled in Austin, TX last year, we lived in 12 apartments in nine cities over the last 10 years. And while the digital nature of my work means that much of my network is only a mouse-click away, it was definitely challenging to move to new cities like Minneapolis and Austin without knowing many people in person.
我和妻子去年決定在德克薩斯州的奧斯丁定居，在此之前，我們?cè)?個(gè)不同的城市的12套公寓居住了長(zhǎng)達(dá)10年的時(shí)間。雖然我的工作是與電子密切相關(guān)的，日常工作就是點(diǎn)點(diǎn)鼠標(biāo)，但是對(duì)于我們來(lái)說(shuō)，移居至一個(gè)像明尼阿波里斯市和奧斯丁這樣沒有任何熟人的新城市，真的是一個(gè)非常大的挑戰(zhàn)。

The internet is great, but there's really something to be said for having face-to-face connections with people who can help motivate and inspire you.
沒錯(cuò)，網(wǎng)絡(luò)的功能很強(qiáng)大，但是如果能夠與那些激勵(lì)和鼓舞你的人建立起面對(duì)面交流的關(guān)系確實(shí)意義非凡。

If your own network is looking a bit lackluster, never fear. The start of a new year is the perfect time to invest in building your tribe. Here are a few of the techniques that've helped me meet friends, business partners, influencers, mentors and more.
如果你的人際關(guān)系淡如水，請(qǐng)不要擔(dān)憂。新年伊始，是你建立個(gè)人關(guān)系網(wǎng)的絕好時(shí)機(jī)。下面給大家分享幾個(gè)小技巧，它們?cè)?jīng)指引著我去與新朋友，商業(yè)伙伴，有影響力的人，導(dǎo)師等建立良好的關(guān)系。

1. Never Eat Alone
1. 絕不獨(dú)自吃飯

I was in San Francisco back when Keith Ferrazzi's Never Eat Alone book came out, and I took its message to heart, arranging to eat meals with anyone who'd agree to meet me. Doing so had a huge impact on my career. Not only did I meet a ton of new connections, I also got over any lingering fears I had about making conversation with people I didn't know.
當(dāng)時(shí)我還在三藩市，Keith Ferrazzi的新書《絕不單獨(dú)吃飯》剛好出版了，我把其中的一些有用信息記在心上，然后安排了跟那些愿意與我見面的朋友一起吃飯。隨后這個(gè)舉措對(duì)我的職業(yè)生涯帶來(lái)了巨大的影響。我不僅確確實(shí)實(shí)地與許多新朋友見了面，我也克服了與陌生人交談的恐懼。

2. Practice Good Networking
2. 鍛煉良好的社交技能

As far as specific networking tactics go, there's not much more I can tell you than to go out there, meet people and build relationships. It really is about being all action, not all talk.
鑒于具體的社交技巧有許多，與其告訴你怎么做不如你親自走出去，多見見朋友建立關(guān)系。這真的就是實(shí)際行動(dòng)了，而不是紙上談兵。

However, I do see people making a lot of different mistakes in the actual execution of their networking - and that's what I want to touch on here. Here's an example: you get up the courage to go to a local networking event and actually talk to a few people. You have some great conversations, but after the event is over, you do nothing. Guess what kind of relationship is going to come from that encounter?
然而，我確實(shí)也發(fā)現(xiàn)人們?cè)趯?shí)際的人際交往中出現(xiàn)各種各樣的錯(cuò)誤，這也是我在這里想要談到的內(nèi)容。舉個(gè)例子：你鼓起勇氣參加本地的一次社交活動(dòng)，也跟一些人交談了。你確實(shí)跟別人聊得很愉快，但是活動(dòng)結(jié)束后，你什么也沒有做成。想一想，你這種打交道的方式建立了什么樣的關(guān)系？

You got it - nothing.
你得到——什么也沒有。

Practicing good networking, to me, involves the following things:
對(duì)于我本人來(lái)說(shuō)，鍛煉良好的社交技能需要考慮到以下這些因素：

Being consistent.
從一而終。

In my example above, a lack of consistency was the critical failure. One contact does not a network make. Nobody will get to know you and trust you if you only meet once. Be consistent both in your networking and in your follow-up. Even simple touches, such as forwarding an interesting email or sharing a social post, can build a relationship.
就我上面提到的例子，缺乏從一而終的毅力是致命的失誤。一次的見面聯(lián)系是無(wú)法建立關(guān)系的。沒有人會(huì)在只一次見面后就了解和信任你。所以在建立人際關(guān)系時(shí)以及后續(xù)見面時(shí)都要保持從一而終的態(tài)度。即使是簡(jiǎn)單的小聯(lián)系，比如轉(zhuǎn)發(fā)一封有趣的郵件或分享一篇社交帖子，都能建立人脈。

Making sure you're connecting with the right people.
確保與對(duì)的人建立關(guān)系。

There's a place for broad networking, but you also need to invest in approaching people who can help you (now or in the future). That doesn't just mean potential clients, though. Connecting with prospective customers, for example, could give you valuable insight when you're planning your next product or service.
建立寬闊的人際關(guān)系網(wǎng)的地方很容易能找到，但是你也需要為與能夠幫助你的人們（現(xiàn)在或?qū)?lái)）接觸而花點(diǎn)錢。不過(guò)這不僅僅意味著跟潛在的顧客打交道。比如，與預(yù)期的客戶聯(lián)系，就能在你計(jì)劃下一件產(chǎn)品或服務(wù)的時(shí)候提供有價(jià)值的想法。

Having a good infrastructure in place.
良好的基礎(chǔ)設(shè)施必須做到位。

If somebody asks you for your card, do you have one to give? And even if you do, what does the website they'll land on when they're web-stalking you later look like? Part of building your network from scratch means looking like someone people want to know.
如果有人詢問(wèn)你要卡片，你能給出來(lái)嗎？而即使你真的有，你所提供給對(duì)方后續(xù)了解的網(wǎng)站設(shè)施又是怎么樣的？在從零開始的人際關(guān)系建立過(guò)程中，在某種程度上意味著你要表現(xiàn)得一個(gè)讓別人感興趣的人。

If all else fails, follow the advice of Dr. Ivan Misner, founder and chairman of Business Network International (BNI): "Be visible. Networking is a contact sport! You have to get out and connect with people."
如果以上這些方法都不管用，那么可以參考世界商訊機(jī)構(gòu)的創(chuàng)始人兼主席伊萬(wàn)·米斯納教授的建議：“要有存在感。建立人際關(guān)系網(wǎng)是一項(xiàng)聯(lián)系的運(yùn)動(dòng)！你必須走出去跟他們建立聯(lián)系。”

3. Stop Being a Selfish Networker
3. 別再以自我為中心

Finally, when you're building a new network from the ground up, you can't approach networking with a "What's in it for me?" attitude. This is true for most networking, but it goes double for situations where people don't know you and are naturally inclined to be suspicious.
最后，當(dāng)你從頭開始建立新的人際關(guān)系網(wǎng)了，但你不能以一種“對(duì)我有什么好處？”的態(tài)度去建立關(guān)系。這對(duì)于大多數(shù)的社交活動(dòng)來(lái)說(shuō)是非常重要的，但是當(dāng)你周遭都是陌生人并自然而然會(huì)對(duì)你保持懷疑態(tài)度的時(shí)候，這個(gè)想法就會(huì)加倍強(qiáng)烈了。

And I get it - you're not networking for fun. You're meeting new people with the hopes of getting something from them, whether it's referrals, leads, sales or even just mentorship and guidance. But when you network from this selfish place, you make it impossible for genuine connections to form. Nobody wants to hang out with the guy who's constantly self-promoting without giving anything in return!
其實(shí)我明白——你不是為了樂趣而去社交。你只是想從他們身上獲得點(diǎn)什么才去跟他們見面，無(wú)論是推薦，領(lǐng)導(dǎo)，銷售或者只是隨從學(xué)習(xí)和指導(dǎo)。但當(dāng)你從這個(gè)自私的角度出發(fā)去跟他人打交道，你無(wú)法建立起真正的人際關(guān)系。沒有人想要跟自私自利又不懂回報(bào)的人一起玩！

Communication expert Amy Castro explains this well:
社交專家艾米·卡斯特羅對(duì)此種情況有獨(dú)到的見解：

"I don't like feeling like I'm being 'sold to,' nor have I ever liked, probably to my detriment, 'selling myself.' Rather, I feel if people get to know me, know what I'm passionate about, and what I have to offer my friends, colleagues, and customers, they'll let me know if they want to associate with me."
“我不喜歡那種 ‘被推銷’出去的感覺，也不曾喜歡或許對(duì)我不利的‘自我推銷’的感覺。相反，如果人們想認(rèn)識(shí)我，知道我的喜好，了解我所能夠?yàn)榕笥眩潞涂蛻羲冻龅臇|西，我就會(huì)知道他們是真的想要跟我建立聯(lián)系。”

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