巷The Lane

柯靈 Ke ling

| 譯文摘自張培基《英譯中國(guó)散文選一》

巷，是城市建筑藝術(shù)中一篇飄逸恬靜的散文，一幅古雅沖淡的圖畫。
The lane, in terms of the art of urban architecture, is like a piece of prose of gentle gracefulness or a painting of classic elegance and simplicity.

要點(diǎn)：
1，“飄逸恬靜”譯為gentle gracefulness，把原文兩個(gè)并列形容詞轉(zhuǎn)變?yōu)橛⒄Z(yǔ)“定語(yǔ)＋抽象名詞”的形式，內(nèi)容不變。這是文學(xué)翻譯時(shí)常用方法。
2，“古雅沖淡的圖畫“意即”優(yōu)雅簡(jiǎn)單的古畫“譯為a painting of classic elegance and simplicity

綜述：前方高能??！本文通篇充斥著四字詞，

這種巷，常在江南的小城市中(2)，有如古代的少女，躲在僻靜的深閨，輕易不肯拋頭露面。你要在這種城市里住久了，和它真正成了莫逆，你才有機(jī)會(huì)看見(jiàn)她，接觸到她優(yōu)嫻貞靜的風(fēng)度。它不是鄉(xiāng)村的陋巷(3)，湫隘破敗(4)，泥濘坎坷，雜草亂生，兩旁還排列著錯(cuò)落的糞缸。
Often tucked away in a small town south of the Yangtze river, the lane, like a maiden of ancient times hidden away in a secluded boudoir, is reluctant to make its appearance in public. You’ll never have an opportunity to see it and savour its gentle poise until you have become truly attached to the small town after living there for a long time. The lane has nothing in common with the mean rural alleys, which are narrow and low-lying, muddy and bumpy, overgrown with wild weeds and lined here and there with manure vats .

要點(diǎn)：
1，“常在河南的小城市中”譯為often tucked away in a small town south of the yangtse river，其中動(dòng)詞短語(yǔ)to tuck away作“使隱藏”、“把……置放在隱蔽的地方”解，是添加成 分，原文雖無(wú)其詞而有其意。
2，“有如古代的少女，躲在僻靜的深閨，輕易不肯拋頭露面?！弊g為the lane, like a maiden of ancient times hidden away in a secluded boudoir, is reluctant to make its appearance in public.這個(gè)分句又粗線了兩個(gè)動(dòng)詞，“躲在…“是次要?jiǎng)釉~，譯文將其處理為后置定語(yǔ)，將”不肯…”譯為主要?jiǎng)釉~~
3，“它不是鄉(xiāng)村的陋巷”意即“它和鄉(xiāng)村的陋巷不同”，因此全句譯為the lane has nothing in common with the mean rural alleys，其中成語(yǔ)in common的意思是“共同”。大家可以看到文學(xué)翻譯中對(duì)于一些常見(jiàn)詞的翻譯都很靈活，比如這個(gè)“不是”，在不同語(yǔ)境中的處理是不一樣的
如：“哲學(xué)不是知識(shí)”可以譯為=philosophy does not pretend to be knowledge.
“哲學(xué)不是幾何學(xué)“=philosophy dissimilar to geometry.
“哲學(xué)不是科學(xué)技術(shù)“=philosophy does not work the way that science and technology do
4, “湫隘破敗”意即”低洼矮小，衰落破敗“譯為narrow and low-lying，未交代“破敗”，因它的意思已包含在句中“陋”、“坎坷”等形容詞中。但如照譯不誤，也無(wú)不可：narrow, low-lying and in bad condition (out of repair)。
5，“泥濘坎坷“還好說(shuō)~有現(xiàn)成的詞可以用，”雜草亂生“可譯為outgrown with weeds，而”兩旁還排列著錯(cuò)落的糞缸“時(shí)，注意轉(zhuǎn)為被動(dòng)，譯為lined here and there with manure vats .

綜述：定語(yǔ)太多怎么辦?甩給which君！！學(xué)習(xí)用which串句子的技巧~

它不是上海的里弄，鱗次櫛比的人家，擁擠得喘不過(guò)氣；小販憧憧來(lái)往，黝暗的小門邊，不時(shí)走出一些趿著拖鞋的女子，頭發(fā)亂似臨風(fēng)飛舞的秋蓬，眼睛里網(wǎng)滿紅絲，臉上殘留著不調(diào)和的隔夜脂粉，頹然地走到老虎灶上去提水。也不像北地的胡同，滿目塵土，風(fēng)起處刮著彌天的黃沙。
Nor has it anything in common with linong (meaning alleys) in Shanghai, which are literally packed with dwellings and their residents. Over there, you’ll see vendors hawking their wares here and there. From time to time, women are seen emerging from inside some dingy small gates and shuffling languidly in their slippers towards a laohuzao, the shop specializing in selling boiled water, their hair disheveled like wind-blown withered grass in autumn, their eyes blood-shot, their faces betraying traces of overnight make-up. Nor has the lane anything in common with hutong (also meaning alleys) in north china, which are dusty on every side, especially when a wind rises.

要點(diǎn)：1，“它不是上海的里弄”譯為Nor has it anything in common with linong (meaning alleys) in Shanghai.同志們~nor開(kāi)頭有木有似曾相識(shí)的趕腳~對(duì)！整個(gè)一段就是一個(gè)大寫的“否定詞+nor 結(jié)構(gòu)”啊~我含辛茹苦地說(shuō)了那么多期
2，“鱗次櫛比的人家，擁擠得喘不過(guò)氣”譯為which are literally packed with dwellings and their residents.，因?yàn)椤镑[次櫛比”本身就是“形容房屋密集”的意思，所以用一be pack with（表擠滿，塞滿）處理足以~避免意思重復(fù)
3，譯文中的over there，屬于增譯，承載著新信息到舊信息的過(guò)渡，使得新主語(yǔ)“小販”的出現(xiàn)顯得不那么突兀。下文from time to time也是為了新主語(yǔ)“女子”的出現(xiàn)起到緩沖的作用，使語(yǔ)篇連貫更為自然~
4,，“不時(shí)走出一些趿著拖鞋的女子”這里的“走”譯為shuffle（拖著腳走），又體現(xiàn)了文學(xué)翻譯中對(duì)于小詞的運(yùn)用~以下是常見(jiàn)的各種“走”：
Stagger（蹣跚）, plod（重步走）, pace（踱步）, loiter（閑逛）, stride（大步走）, strut（昂首闊步）, ramble（漫步）, lurk（潛伏）, creep（爬行）, stroll（閑逛）, trudge（艱難地走）, lurch（搖擺不定地走）, limp（跛行）, crawl（爬）, rush （快步走）
好好記住這些詞，下文還會(huì)用上噠~這些小詞對(duì)翻譯寫作和閱讀都有幫助~
4, “頭發(fā)亂似臨風(fēng)飛舞的秋蓬”中的“蓬”是一種草，即“蓬蒿”，秋時(shí)干枯，臨風(fēng)飛舞，現(xiàn)將此句譯為“disheveled like wind-blown withered grass in autumn.而“頹然”意即“沒(méi)精打采”或“慢吞吞”譯為languidly sluggishly.
5，本段中的“里弄“”胡同“都是中國(guó)才有的東西，一般采用音譯法，在之后加注或者在文中直接給予解釋，這點(diǎn)在《中年人的寂寞》等文中也有體現(xiàn)~

綜述：本段還要注意，張爺爺在翻譯女子一系列狀態(tài)時(shí)，用了一連串的獨(dú)立主格結(jié)構(gòu)，給人動(dòng)作神態(tài)一氣呵成的感覺(jué)~~

這種小巷，隔絕了市廛的紅塵，卻又不是鄉(xiāng)村的風(fēng)味。它又深又長(zhǎng)，一個(gè)人耐心靜靜走去，要老半天才走完。它又這么曲折，你望前面，好像已經(jīng)堵塞了(7)，可是走過(guò)去，一轉(zhuǎn)彎，依然是巷陌深深，而且更加幽靜。那里常是寂寂的，寂寂的(8)，不論什么時(shí)候，你向巷中踅去，都如寧?kù)o的黃昏，可以清晰地聽(tīng)到自己的足音。
The lane, though cut off from the hustle and bustle of busy cities, does not taste of the countryside at all. It is long and deep, so it will take you a long while to walk patiently and quietly through it from end to end. It is also so winding that it seems to be a blind alley when you look far ahead, but if you keep walking until you take a turning, you’ll find it again lying endless and still more quiet. There is nothing but stillness there. At any hour of day, you can even distinctly hear in the dusk-like quiet your own footsteps.

要點(diǎn)：
1，“市廛”即“市區(qū)”，“紅塵”即“繁華的社會(huì)”因此譯為the hustle and bustle of busy cities，增加了譯文的音韻之美~
2，“它又這么曲折，你望前面，好像已經(jīng)堵塞了，可是走過(guò)去，一轉(zhuǎn)彎，依然是巷陌深深，而且更加幽靜。”第 一 句 主 是 是 “ 它 ( 巷 ) ”， 第 二 句主語(yǔ)是 “ 一個(gè)人 ”，雖然并未寫出來(lái)，但是意義不言自明。譯文采用 “ y o u ” 來(lái)轉(zhuǎn)換主語(yǔ)，。譯為It is also so winding that it seems to be a blind alley when you look far ahead（把“人“和”巷“聯(lián)系）, but if you（轉(zhuǎn)換主語(yǔ)咯~） keep walking until you take a turning, you’ll find it again lying endless and still more quiet.
3，動(dòng)詞lying 使巷子具有動(dòng)態(tài)的美感，lying endless ，兩個(gè)詞放在一起，仿佛讓人看到,一條無(wú)限延伸的巷子
4，“好像已經(jīng)堵塞了“意即”好像是死胡同“故譯為it seems to be a blind alley
5, “那里常是寂寂的，寂寂的”語(yǔ)氣強(qiáng)調(diào)，譯為There is nothing but stillness there(nothing but此處表強(qiáng)調(diào)哦)
6，本段仍舊有一些不太好理解的詞語(yǔ)，例如“巷陌深深“形容巷子長(zhǎng)”，踅去“意為”走去“，這些都是要考平時(shí)積累的，平時(shí)多讀名家名作對(duì)于翻譯這類文章有巨大幫助~

綜述：注意第二點(diǎn)第二點(diǎn)第二點(diǎn)所提到的視角推進(jìn)~

聲明：本雙語(yǔ)文章的中文評(píng)析系滬江英語(yǔ)原創(chuàng)內(nèi)容，轉(zhuǎn)載請(qǐng)注明出處。中文評(píng)析僅代表作者個(gè)人觀點(diǎn)，僅供參考。如有不妥之處，歡迎指正。