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So, these are the Dark Ages. And the Dark Ages are the time between when you put away the Lego for the last time as a kid, and you decide as an adult that it is okay to play with a kid's toy. Started out with my then four-year-old. "Oh, should buy the kid some Lego. That stuff's cool." Walked into the Lego store. Bought him this. It's totally appropriate for a four-year-old.? I think the box says -- let's see here -- "8 to 12" on it. I turn to my wife and said, "Who are we buying this for?" She's like, "Oh, us." I'm like, "Okay. All right. That's cool."

我們都有黑暗時代。我說的黑暗時代是指,在你還是一個孩子，最后一次玩畢放下樂高積木的時候，和你已經(jīng)長大成人，決定重新開始玩這個看起來是給小孩子玩的玩具的時候，之間的這段日子。就拿我來說吧，當我兒子四歲時，（我說：）“是時候給他玩樂高積木了。那個挺好玩的?！蔽揖团苋犯邔Ｙu店，給他買了這個。這看起來倒真像是給四歲的孩子玩的（其實不然）。（笑聲）我想盒子上寫著--讓我們看這邊--“八歲到十二歲”。我問我太太：“到底我們這是給誰買呀？”她回答：“哦，給我們自己吧?！蔽艺f：“也成，好吧，那也挺好的。”

Pretty soon it got a little bit out of control. The dining room looked like this. You walk there and it hurts. So we took a room downstairs in the basement that had been used as sort of an Abu Ghraib annex. Torture, very funny. Wow, you guys are great. And we put down those little floor tiles. And then I went onto eBay and bought 150 pounds of Lego -- which is insane. My daughter -- the day we got it, I was tucking her in -- and I said, "Honey, you're my treasure." And she said, "No, the Lego is the treasure." And then she said, "Dad, we're Lego rich." I was like, "Yeah. I suppose we are." So then once you do that you're like, "Oh, crap. Where am I going to put all this?" So you go to The Container Store and spend an enormous amount of money. And then you start this crazy sorting process that never -- it's just nuts. Whatever.

沒多久事情就失控啦。我們的餐廳變成了這個樣子。你走進去腳都硌得疼。所以我們就啟用了地下室的一個房間，以前是用來虐待人的。（笑話）（笑聲）（我說我在家）虐待（人），（你們卻覺得）好笑，哇，你們這幫聽眾真酷。然后我們就換掉了這些地磚。我就跑去易趣買了150磅重的樂高--（笑聲）這有點抽瘋。我女兒--我們買到手這些樂高那天晚上，臨睡前我給她把被子掖好--我說：“寶貝，你是我的寶貝?！彼f：“不對，樂高才是寶貝?！保ㄐβ暎┙又f：“爸爸，我們發(fā)樂高財了?！蔽艺f：“對，我們是發(fā)樂高財了?！碑斈阕隽诉@么瘋狂的事，你就覺得：“噢，壞了，我把它們擱哪兒呀？”你就會去賣整理箱的地方，花一大堆錢（買好多整理箱）。然后你就分門別類的收拾吧。沒個頭--簡直就是發(fā)瘋。無所謂啦。

So then you realize there are these conventions. And you go to one of these conventions, and some dude built the Titanic. And you're like, "Holy shit! He had to come in like a truck, a semi, with this thing." And then built this -- this is the Smith Tower in Seattle. Just beautiful. And there's a dude selling these aftermarket weapons for Lego, because Lego -- the Danish -- no, they're not into guns. But the Americans? Oh, we'll make some guns for Lego, no problem. And at a certain point you look around, you're like, "Whoa, this is a really nerdy crowd." And I mean like this is a nerdy crowd, but that's like a couple of levels above furries. The nerds here, they get laid -- except for the lady with the condoms in her pocket -- and you said to yourself at some point, "Am I part of this group? Like, am I into this?" And I was just like, "Yeah, I guess I am. I'm coming out. I'm kind of into this stuff, and I'm going to stop being embarrassed."

接著你就開始注意到這些集會。你去了一個這種集會，看到別人竟然堆了個泰坦尼克號出來，你就會說：“老天呀！他得拿卡車或者半掛車，來裝這個玩意兒?！苯又腥俗隽诉@個--這是模擬西雅圖的史密斯塔。美極了。接著有人賣這個，給樂高補充的武器裝備。因為樂高吧--這些丹麥人--他們倒不迷戀武器，但是美國佬？哇，我們當然會給樂高添上武器了。不在話下。后來到一定的程度，你左右環(huán)顧一下，你會說：“哇塞，這可真是一幫瘋子?！蔽沂钦f比一般的瘋子要瘋上好幾倍這幫瘋子，他們特別自在--除了那個老帶著個避孕套的女生--我就對自己說“我也是他們的一份子么？我也好這個調(diào)調(diào)么？”我回答自己：“對呀。我想我也是。我應該告訴大家。我喜歡樂高，我不應該覺得羞愧。”

So then you really get into it. And you're like, "Well, the Lego people in Denmark, they've got all this software to let you build your own virtually. And so this is like this CAD program where you build it. And then whatever you design virtually you click the button and it shows up at your doorstep a week later. And then some of the designs that people do they actually sell in the store. The Lego guys don't give you any royalties, strangely. But some user made this and then it sold. And it's pretty amazing actually.

之后你就徹底掉進去了。你會說:“好的，丹麥的樂高公司，他們有電腦軟件可以讓你自己設計樂高。比如這個電腦輔助設計的軟件。你可以假裝搭一個積木，點擊采購所有的零件，一周后就送貨上門了。有些好的設計他們還真在店里賣。這些賣樂高的人也不給你什么專利，奇怪吧。但是有人用軟件做了了么個東西，后來還賣錢了。特神。

Then you notice, that if that Lego-provided CAD program isn't enough, there's an entire open-source third party independent Lego CAD program that lets you do 3D modeling and 3D rendering and make, in fact, movies out of Lego, 3D films of which there are thousands on YouTube. And some of them sort of mimicking famous films. And some totally original content. Just beautiful. And people recreating all sorts of things. I have to take a moment. I love the guy who's like running away with his clasps, his hooks. Okay. Anyway.

接下來你會發(fā)現(xiàn)，如果樂高公司的電腦軟件還不夠，還有別的人，獨立于樂高公司的資源共享的那種電腦軟件商。你可以用他們的軟件做立體模型，立體表演，還可以做出樂高電影來。立體的影片。Youtube上有成千上萬這樣的電影。有些模仿已成名的電影片段，有些是原創(chuàng)的。美極了。人們還重現(xiàn)了一些東西。我得花點時間說說這個。我喜歡這個像是要跑的人拿著鉤子夾子的。就這樣。

There's a whole programming language and robotics tool. So if you want to teach someone how to program, kid, adult, whatever it is. And the guy that made this, he made a slot machine out of Lego. And I don't mean he made Lego that looked like a slot machine. I mean he made a slot machine out of Lego. The insides were Lego.

我們有整個一個編碼語言，還有機器人技術。如果你想教人編程，孩子啦，成人啦，都行。做這個的人，他拿樂高做了個投幣自動售貨機。不是說他用樂高搭了一個像投幣自動售貨機一樣的東西，我是說他真的用樂高做出了一個投幣自動售貨機。里面的部件全是樂高。

There's people getting drunk building Lego. And you've got to finish the thing before you puke. There's a whole gray market for Lego, thousands of home-based businesses. And some people will fund their entire Lego habit by selling the little guys. But then you have no guys in your ships.

有的人邊做邊喝，你可得在吐得一塌糊涂前做完才行。樂高也有地下市場，成千上萬的家庭型工廠。有人為了能掙錢玩樂高，還賣這些東西。只是船上沒人罷了。

And then just some examples. This stuff really is sculpture. This is amazing what you can do. And don't kid yourself; some architectural details, incredible organic shapes and just, again, nature out of, again, little blocks. This is my house. And this is my house. I was afraid a car was going to come smash it as I was taking a picture for you guys.

這里有些例子。這個東西像是個雕塑品。簡直無法想象你能用樂高做到這一步。不是開玩笑的，這些建筑上的細節(jié)，這些絕妙的生物形體，這些僅僅是靠著這些小小的積木的自然魅力。這是我的樂高房子。這是我的真房子。我給你們照這張照片的時候特別擔心有車過來軋壞了我的樂高房子。

Anyway, I'm out of time. But just very quickly -- we'll just see if I can do this quick. Because there aren't enough TED logos around here. Let's see here. Okay. Ta-da.

我沒時間繼續(xù)了。但是快速地——讓我們看看我能不能完成這個。這間屋里TED的標志有點不夠。（笑聲）看這里。好了。完成了！


Notes:
Lego: 樂高，流行的兒童塑料積木游戲

slot machine: 吃角子老虎；自動售貨機

gray market: 灰色市場，水貨市場

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