貓貓的心思很難猜

How can you tell if your cat is plotting to kill you.
如何判斷你的貓有沒有暗中想要干掉你。

蹭蹭可不都是撒嬌的表現(xiàn)

Kneading on you: you may think this is a sign of affection, but your cat is actually checking your internals for weaknesses.
貓貓?jiān)谀闵砩喜鋪聿淙L來滾去的，你以為這是撒嬌咩？錯(cuò)啦，貓貓是在仔細(xì)觀察你的命門在哪。

對(duì)視的時(shí)候千萬不能退縮

If you get caught in a staring contest with your cat, do not look away. Looking away will signal to your cat that you are weak, and an attack is likely to follow.
如果不幸和你的貓貓對(duì)視了，千萬不要羞澀！勇敢地瞪著它吧！移開視線這種示弱的舉止會(huì)被貓貓認(rèn)為是霸氣不足，于是它就會(huì)欺負(fù)死你的。。。。。。

勘探地形 知己知彼

Your cat will often hide in order to study you in your natural habitat.
貓貓喜歡跟你玩躲貓貓，其實(shí)它是在暗中觀察你的一言一行，找準(zhǔn)你最不設(shè)防的那個(gè)點(diǎn)！

撓臉是屢試不爽的絕招

Cats aren't very good at smothering people, but this won't stop them from trying.
貓貓不怎么會(huì)悶死人，于是只能用撓的~天天撓一點(diǎn)，持之以恒，一定撓死你~

殺死耗子給主人看

This isn't a gift. It's a warning.
貓貓抓老鼠可不是為了報(bào)答你，是跟你示威呢：遲早有一天你的下場(chǎng)和這只耗子一樣~

欲成大事先餓其體膚

Through this painful feeding and purging process cats prepare their minds and bodies for combat.
哪一天貓貓開始吃草了，不是因?yàn)樗胙a(bǔ)充維生素，而是因?yàn)槿思艺谧鰬?zhàn)前準(zhǔn)備！

攻擊之前先斷糧草

Humans have superior technology. Your cat knows this and will attempt to disrupt all communications to the outside world.
通訊技術(shù)發(fā)達(dá)是我們逃生的有力手段！于是貓貓必須先破壞你的電腦。下次發(fā)現(xiàn)它趴在你的鍵盤上，一定毫不猶豫拎起來扔到一邊！

打不過就要跑得快

Sprinting at light speed out of any room you enter: When your cat does this, it's actually a failed ambush.
你一進(jìn)屋貓就逃，說明貓兒心虛了。

不講衛(wèi)生的貓真的不是好貓

After using the litter box, your cat needlessly kicks litter around, most of it ending up all over the room. This is practice for burying bodies.
貓貓把垃圾啊排泄物啊什么的弄得到處都是，只有一個(gè)目的：用來埋了你。。。。。