【讀書筆記】王爾德《自深深處》34
1891年，處在寫作生涯巔峰期的王爾德遇見了阿爾弗雷德·“波西”·道格拉斯(Alfred "Bosie" Douglas)，兩人很快成為了同性戀人。四年后，因為這段“不敢說出名字的愛”，王爾德被判“有傷風化”罪而入獄。在獄中，王爾德開始反思從前的生活，思索痛苦和人生的意義，藝術和愛的真諦，最終將那些痛苦的淚水都化作優(yōu)美而深沉的文字，寫成了這封名為"de profundis"(從深處)的長信。
作者簡介：奧斯卡·王爾德(Oscar Wilde, 1854-1900)，英國維多利亞時代著名作家，“唯美主義運動”的領軍人物，倡導“為藝術而藝術”(Art for art's sake)。他的代表作有戲劇《莎樂美》(Salome)《認真的重要性》(The Importance of Being Earnest)，童話《快樂王子》(The Happy Prince) 《夜鶯與玫瑰》(The Nightingale and the Rose)，小說《道連·格雷的畫像》(The Picture of Dorian Gray)，以及書信《自深深處》(De Profundis)等。
【原著選段】
Ah! had you been in prison—I will not say?through any fault of mine, for that would be a?thought too terrible for me to bear—but through fault?of your own, error of your own, faith in some?unworthy friend, slip in sensual mire, trust?misapplied, or love ill-bestowed, or none, or all of?these —do you think that I would have allowed you?to eat your heart away in darkness and solitude?without trying in some way, however slight, to help?you to bear the bitter burden of your disgrace? Do?you think that I would not have let you know?that if you suffered, I was suffering too: that if?you wept, there were tears in my eyes also: and?that if you lay in the house of bondage and were?despised of men, I out of my very griefs had built a?house in which to dwell until your coming, a treasury?in which all that men had denied to you would be?laid up for your healing, one hundredfold in increase??If bitter necessity, or prudence, to me more bitter?still, had prevented my being near you, and robbed?me of the joy of your presence, though seen through?prison-bars and in a shape of shame, I would have?written to you in season and out of season in the?hope that some mere phrase, some single word,?some broken echo even of Love might reach?you. If you had refused to receive my letters, I?would have written none the less, so that you should?have known that at any rate there were always letters?waiting for you.
【朱純深譯本】
??！要是換成了你在監(jiān)獄——我不說是因為我的過失，要是這樣那太可怕了，我承受不了的——而是因為你自己的過失，你自己的錯誤：交錯朋友、信錯人、愛錯人、在人欲的泥淖中失足，或者這些都不是，或者這些都是——在這種情況下，你想我會讓你在黑暗與孤寂中凄慘度日，而不想辦法，哪怕是多么微不足道的辦法，幫助你去承受恥辱的重壓嗎？你想我會不讓你知道嗎，你受苦，我與你同在受苦；你哭泣，我眼中也會充滿熱淚？你想我會不讓你知道嗎，假如你幽困于縲紲之室，為人所不齒，我會用滿心的悲哀去構筑一處寶屋，百倍加添地存起世人不讓你得到的一切，等著你的歸來，伴著你的康復？如果出于令人痛苦的需要，或是謹慎——對于我這是更加的痛苦——我不得與你接近，被剝奪了與你相見的快樂，即使是透過鐵窗看看里面囚首垢面的你都不行，我也會一年四季地給你寫信，希望哪怕是一些只言片語，甚至不過是愛的不成聲的回音，也許會傳到你那兒。即使你拒絕收我的信，我也會照寫不誤，這樣你就會知道，不管怎樣總是有信在等著你。
【讀書筆記】
1、fault?n.缺點，毛病；錯誤；過失
【舉例】merits and faults?優(yōu)缺點
commit a fault 犯錯誤
acknowledge one's faults?承認錯誤
It's not my fault. 這不是我的錯。
2、eat one's heart away/out??因憂慮或渴求而變得憔悴；憂傷
【舉例】For months after her son's death, she simply eat her heart away.?在她兒子死后幾個月里，她悲痛欲絕。
3、dwell v.(尤指作為常住居民)居??；生活，存在
【舉例】dwell on an island?居住在島上
dwell in poverty 生活貧困
There dwells in me a strange feeling that all is not right.?我心中有一種奇怪的感覺，似乎事情有點不對頭。
4、deny v.否認；拒絕；拒不相信
【舉例】The suspect denied having assaulted a policeman.?嫌疑人否認曾經襲警。
He denied his signature.?他不承認自己的簽字。
deny one's request 拒絕某人的要求
deny the existence of God?不相信上帝的存在
