Body Talk
身體語言

Have you ever wondered why you sometimes take an almost immediate liking to a person you have just met? Or worried about why someone you were talking to suddenly became cool and distant? The chances are that it wasn't anything that was said but something that happened: a gesture, a movement, a smile. Social scientists are now devoting considerable attention to "non-verbal communication," what happens when people get together, apart from their actual conversation.
你有沒有想過為什么有時(shí)你剛剛見到了一個(gè)人，你就會立刻喜歡上這個(gè)人？或者你有沒有因?yàn)橐晃徽诟阏勗挼娜送蝗粦B(tài)度變得很冷而又疏遠(yuǎn)，這使你心情感到焦慮不安？這很可能并不是因?yàn)槟阏f錯(cuò)了什么話，而是因?yàn)槟愕囊粋€(gè)手勢、一個(gè)小動作、一個(gè)微笑引起的。社會科學(xué)家們現(xiàn)在特別注意"非語言文字的交際"，即當(dāng)人們到一起時(shí)，除了人們實(shí)際上所談的話而外所發(fā)生的事情。

Professor Erving Goffman of the University of Pennsylvania is involved in a continuing study of the way people behave in social interaction. He feels that gestures, movements and physical closeness have meaning which the words that the people are using do not carry.
賓夕法尼亞州立大學(xué)歐文·高夫曼教授一直不斷地在研究社會交流中人們行為的方式。他認(rèn)為每做一個(gè)手勢、每個(gè)動作和身體親近的程度都有著人們的語言所表達(dá)不出來的意義。

The closeness of two people when talking, movement towards and away from each other, and the amount of eye contact all reveal something about the nature of the relationship between the two individuals. We tend to be only subconsciously aware, if at all, of the various patterns and rituals of social behavior. We expect other people to act according to the same "rules" that we do, so much so that the manners and behavior of persons from another culture can be extremely confusing.
交談著的兩個(gè)人的親密程度，動作上的互相接近或疏遠(yuǎn)以及兩個(gè)人目光接觸的次數(shù)及接觸時(shí)間的長短，所有這一切都能表明兩人之間是哪一種關(guān)系。一般我們對社會行為的種種規(guī)范和禮儀，即使知道該怎么做，也常常是通過下意識才意識到的。我們期待著其他民族也按著我們做事的同樣的"規(guī)矩"辦事，以致于來自其他民族文化的人們的待人處事的態(tài)度和行為舉止可能會令我們感到極端地困惑不理解。

Fox example, North Americans tend to expect more physical distance between two speakers than do Latin Americans. Consequently, when the Latin American seems to be leaning too close, the North American complains of "invasion of his space." The Latin American, on the other hand, often considers the North American to be "cold" or "distant" because he keeps a greater distance between himself and the person he is speaking to.
例如，北美洲的人和拉丁美洲比較起來，北美洲的人希望兩個(gè)談話的人之間的距離稍大一點(diǎn)。因而，當(dāng)拉丁美洲的人似乎把身子湊得離談話對方很近的時(shí)候，北美洲的人就會抱怨說你"侵犯了他的私人空間"。相反，拉丁美洲的人經(jīng)常認(rèn)為北美洲的人待人都很"冷淡"或"疏遠(yuǎn)"，因?yàn)楸泵乐奕俗约嚎偸歉勗拰Ψ街g要保持較大的距離。

Eye contact is one way of measuring the degree of closeness of relationship between two speakers, although there are cultural variations in the meaning of eye contact. In the Middle East, for example, it is considered extremely provocative for a woman to let a man catch her eye, let alone return his gaze. Social psychologist Michael Argyle observes that there is more eye contact between people who like each other than those who are indifferent or hostile towards each other. And the longer the length of the gaze, the more likely it is that the listener is more interested in the person who is speaking, than the actual topic of conversation. Frequently looking down can indicate submissiveness or embarrassment. Looking away repeatedly may express boredom or dislike. Women tend to engage in more eye contract than men, especially when talking to other women.
目光的接觸是衡量兩個(gè)談話人之間關(guān)系親密程度的一個(gè)標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，盡管在不同的民族文化中對目光接觸的意義有所不同。例如，在中東，如果一位婦女惹得一個(gè)男子的注目，就被認(rèn)為是帶有極端的調(diào)逗調(diào)情的性質(zhì)，更不用說回眸再去凝視那個(gè)男人了。社會心理學(xué)家邁克·阿吉爾覺察到對方的次數(shù)和時(shí)間，要比兩個(gè)互相冷漠甚至敵視的人互相看對方的次數(shù)和時(shí)間要多。聽講話的人若是凝視講話的人的時(shí)間越長，越有可能是，聽講話的人對講話的人本人的舉止大過于對他所講的真正的話題的興趣。低頭往下看通常都表示順從或不好意思。反復(fù)地扭轉(zhuǎn)頭看別處可以表達(dá)厭煩或不喜歡。婦女比男人更喜歡用目光接觸，特別是在和另外一些婦女談話時(shí)更是這樣。

But too steady eye contact can make one feel uneasy at times. Most people become uncomfortable under the intense gaze of a stare. One scientist suggests that perhaps one reason that man becomes tense under the force of a stare is in his biological ancestors: in apes, a stare signifies aggressiveness and hostility. The person who insistently fixes his eyes on our face is often more successful in arousing our dislike than impressing us with his directness and sincerity.
但有時(shí)死死地盯著看人，會使人感到不安。被人家盯著看，這會使大多數(shù)人感到不舒服。某一位科學(xué)家說，人類受到使勁地盯視時(shí)會感到緊張，這其中的原因之一就在人類的生活學(xué)上的始祖身上：在類人猿中間，瞪著眼睛盯著看，就意味著要侵犯和要敵對。一個(gè)人若是用他的兩只眼睛始終不停地直直地看著我們的臉，這樣做不但不會給我們留下這個(gè)人很直率很真誠的印象，反而會引起我們的反感。

Similarly, the smile cannot always be interpreted as a sign of friendliness. The person who smiles almost constantly and with little apparent reason makes us uneasy. Even though he may believe that he is expressing friendliness, he may really seem nervous and tense. In other animals, bared teeth are a warning gesture, a danger sign.
同樣道理，微笑也并不能總是解釋為友好的表示。如果一個(gè)人老是朝著我們微笑，又沒有明顯的理由，就會使我們感到不安。即使這個(gè)人自己認(rèn)為他是在向你表示友好，很可能讓人覺得那人很緊張很不自然。在其他動物中間，呲牙是警告的姿勢，是一種危險(xiǎn)的信號。

Genuine warmth or interest can be revealed in the eyes, suggests Dr. Eckhard Hess of the University of Chicago, who believes that the pupils of the eyes can indicate emotion or interest. The opened pupil tends to be associated with pleasant, satisfying experiences. That special sparkle in the lover's eyes need not be fantasy, for love may make the pupil grow larger. Sometimes when we feel that a person is "warm" or "friendly", it is possible we are reacting to a form of non-verbal communication - his opened pupils.
真正的熱情和興趣可以從眼神當(dāng)中表現(xiàn)出來，這是芝加哥?？斯亍ず账共┦刻岢鰜淼摹ＫJ(rèn)為眼睛的瞳孔可以表達(dá)感情和興趣。瞳孔擴(kuò)張一般總是與愉快的令人滿意的經(jīng)歷有關(guān)。情人眼神中閃現(xiàn)出的神采不一定就是你的幻覺，因?yàn)閻矍榭梢允雇讛U(kuò)大。有時(shí)我們覺得某人"熱情"、"友好"，這很可能是我們對他所用的非語言文字的交際形式作出了反應(yīng)--他的瞳孔擴(kuò)大了。

The next time you are at a party, take note of some of the silent messages being sent around you. Notice which persons seem to draw naturally together to speak, which others try to stay further apart or even avoid meeting each other's eyes. You may find that this silent language is much more fascinating than the actual conversation going on around you.
下次你參加社交聚會時(shí)，多留意一下你周圍的人所傳送的無聲的語言信息。注意一下，哪些人很自然地就聚擾在一起談話，注意一下還有哪些人互相間盡量離得遠(yuǎn)些，甚至盡量避免接觸對方的目光。你會發(fā)現(xiàn)這些無聲的語言遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)比你周圍的人所實(shí)際進(jìn)行的有聲的交談更能觸動人們的心靈。