害怕與陌生人打交道?12招幫你成為"社交達(dá)人"
作者:兔子 譯
2011-11-13 08:30
Let’s face it, fewer moments are more awkward than trying to strike up a casual conversation with someone you don’t know very well. Here are some quick tips to lighten up the situation:
讓我們面對這樣一個現(xiàn)實(shí):在跟對方不熟的情況下,還要努力去營造一個輕松愉悅的談話氛圍,實(shí)在是再尷尬不過。以下12個小技巧可讓你快速走出尷尬境地。
1 Talk about who you know and what you have in common. Mutual friends, bosses, hometowns, etc.
聊一聊認(rèn)識的人或者雙方的共通之處。比如共同的朋友、上司,或者家鄉(xiāng)等等。
2 Ask relevant questions about life, work, hobbies, and pop-culture. Keeping abreast of current events will provide you with great conversation builders. Lead with “What do you think of…?”, “Have you heard…?”, “What is your take on…?”, etc. Stay away from negative or controversial topics, and refrain from long-winded stories.
詢問對方關(guān)于生活、工作、愛好、流行文化等問題。密切關(guān)注時事,會讓你有很多話題可以聊。用類似“你覺得……如何?”“你聽說……了嗎?”“你接受得了……嗎?”這樣的問句打開話匣子。避免談?wù)撠?fù)面的或者爭議性的話題,也別說太啰嗦的故事。
3 If you notice yourself getting bored with what you’re saying, stop talking, acknowledge the situation, and move on to the next topic.
如果你突然意識到自己說的話很無聊,那就別硬撐啦。承認(rèn)這個狀況,然后果斷換另一個話題。
4 Listen more than you talk.
多聽,少說
5 With people you have never met before, limit stories to the last few moments of your life. Bring up casual points about your current surroundings, like the funny music playing in the background or the tasty martinis the bar is serving.
和陌生人在一起的時候,把話題集中在自己近期的生活。也可以隨意聊聊眼下的環(huán)境,比如搞笑的背景音樂或者酒吧里好喝的馬提尼酒。
6 Know a few interesting historical facts, like this one: As a child, Albert Einstein seldom spoke. When he did, he spoke very slowly – indeed, he tried out entire sentences in his head until he got them right before he spoke aloud. Einstein did this until he was nine years old. His parents were worried about his lack of talking. But at last, at the supper table one night, he broke his silence to say, “The soup is too hot!” Greatly relieved, his parents asked why he had never said a word before. Albert replied, “Because up to now everything was in order.”
知道一些歷史趣聞,比如下面這個:愛因斯坦小時候很少說話。即使開口,也說的很慢。他一定要在腦子里構(gòu)思好整個句子,才肯大聲說出來。在9歲之前,他一直是這個狀態(tài)。父母對他的寡言少語感到憂心忡忡。不過,終于有一天在吃晚飯的時候,他打破了沉默,說了句“湯太燙了!”。如釋重負(fù)的父母問他,為什么從前不說話。阿爾伯特回答:“因?yàn)橹钡浆F(xiàn)在,一切都井然有序?!?/div>
7 But realize that no one likes a person who thinks he knows everything.
但是,務(wù)必牢記,沒有人喜歡一個自認(rèn)為無所不知的人。
8 Prolonged pauses are the best time for that interesting historical fact. Most people would rather listen to you talk about anything than listen to an awkward silence.
如果長時間冷場,最合適的話題是歷史趣聞。與忍受冷場相比,大多數(shù)人都更樂意聽你說話,隨便什么話題都成。
9 Watch your body language. People who look ill at ease make others uncomfortable. Act confident and comfortable, even when you’re not.
注意身體語言。如果你看上去很拘束,別人也會感覺不舒服。裝也要裝得自信和坦然一點(diǎn)。
10 Let strangers interrupt you. They’re not being rude, they’re assisting you. Let them speak, and wait to be prompted before continuing your story. It’s usually a good sign that they are actually listening to you.
允許陌生人插話。別把這樣的舉動看作粗魯無禮,他們其實(shí)是在幫你。讓他們發(fā)言,然后等他們給你提示,再繼續(xù)你的話題。這通常是個好跡象,說明他們確實(shí)在聽你說話。
11 If all else fails, just talk about the weather, which always gets people riled up (unless you live in Florida or Southern California).
如果全都行不通,干脆聊聊常把大伙兒惹毛的天氣吧(此條不適用于佛羅里達(dá)或者南加利福尼亞的居民)。
12 And have a few exit lines ready so, if needs be, you can both gracefully move on. For example, “I need to check in with a client over there,” “I skipped lunch today, so I need to grab a quick bite,” etc.
準(zhǔn)備一些隨時能結(jié)束談話的借口,這樣在必要的時候,雙方都可以從容地離開。比如,“我需要幫一個客戶去登記入住”,“我今天沒吃午飯,所以我得趕緊去吃點(diǎn)東西”。
As long as you avoid anything personal, political, or controversial – at least during first encounters – and know which questions to ask, you’ll be talking the talk of certified socialite. Also, read Dale Carnegie’s classic, How To Win Friends and Influence People, for a great read on this topic.
只要閉口不談任何私人、政治或者富有爭議性的話題(至少第一次見面時不說),并且知道該問什么問題,你就一定能像社會名流一般侃侃而談啦。還有,讀一讀戴爾·卡耐基的經(jīng)典之作《如何贏得友誼和影響他人》吧,這絕對是一本幫你完善社交技巧的絕佳讀物。
猜你喜歡
-
囧研究:廢柴有理!懶的人智商比較高
New research seems to prove the theory that brainy people spend more time lazing around than their active counterparts.新的研究似乎證明:相比那些活躍的人來講,聰明的人會更懶散一點(diǎn)。 F...
-
選擇恐懼癥患者:信息量太大怎么破?
有選擇通常是件好事,但有時也讓人舉棋不定、難以抉擇。不過,如果就連每天出門該穿什么衣服之類的事情都無法做出決定,帶給人的苦惱就不一般了,這時候,你可能患上了“選擇困難癥”,也叫“選擇恐懼癥”。
-
老板說這五種人應(yīng)該趁早解雇
在公司里有五種人老板應(yīng)該趁早解雇。他們可能是陪老板打過江山的“開國功臣”,也可能是創(chuàng)意無限的“藝術(shù)家”,或是青云直上的“上位者”。他們做了什么,使得老板要“快刀斬亂麻”,把這些人趁早解雇?五種會
-
階梯聽力天天練——籬笆
以前聽過一個“豪豬原理”,說是人與人相處就像兩只豪豬,離得太近身上的刺便會扎到對方。沒錯,無論感情多深,彼此之間還是需要保持一定的距離。所以說,愛你的鄰居,但不要拆掉你的籬笆。