A tricky girl said, “Mom, I got a one hundred in school today!” The mom replied, “Great, sweetie, tell me about it.” The girl reluctantly said, “Well, I got a twenty in math, a thirty in history and a fifty in spelling.” It was the Christmas season and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, “What is your offense?” “I did my Christmas shopping early this year,” cried the prisoner. “There’s nothing wrong with that,” said the Judge. “How early were you doing this shopping?” “Before the store opened,” answered the prisoner. Happiness in dream There was a wife who told her husband, “l(fā)ast night I dreamed you bought me a mink coat and a diamond ring.” The husband put down his newspaper and said, “Fine! Tonight go back to sleep and wear them.” Three gorillas fell out of a tree one by one. The first one was sick, the second was being a copycat and the third gave in to peer pressure. A boy told his mom she was awful at raising kids. She replied, “Hold your tongue. That’s not true!” The boy said, “They why do you send me to bed when I’m not tired and wake me up in the morning when I am?” I knew a guy who played his radio only in the morning. When someone asked him why, he replied, “This is an AM radio.” Do you know what Americans call a person in the White House who is intelligent, honest and modest? The answer is “a tourist.” The Easter Bunny, an honest lawyer, Santa Claus and a drunk find a fifty-dollar bill together. Can you guess who gets to keep it? Of course, it’s the drunk because the other three don’t exist. A kid asked his dad, “Hey, Pop, can you write in the dark?” The dad answered, “Sure. What do you want me to write?” The boy said, “Your name on this report card.”