The New York Times reported that over half of the births to US women younger than 30 occurred outside of marriage in 2009. Most of the ongoing rise of births to unmarried women occurred to couples living together but unmarried. So why don’t these young women want to get married?
《紐約時報》報道，在2009年，30歲前懷孕的美國女性中有超過半數(shù)是未婚生子。這一數(shù)據(jù)目前還在持續(xù)增長。這里面的很多女性是跟愛人處在未婚同居的狀況。為什么她們不想結(jié)婚？

Here are seven of the areas that the women who answered my question, “What is the most important thing you wish you had known before you were married?” mentioned most frequently.
對此我進(jìn)行了一個調(diào)查，我的問題是“什么是你在結(jié)婚前最想知道的事情？” 以下7件事是她們提到次數(shù)最多的回答：

1. I wish I’d known what marriage is really like.
我希望自己知道婚姻的真實面目。

Many of these women got most of their information (really misinformation) about what marriage was supposed to be like from the media and they believed it until reality struck.
婚姻應(yīng)該是什么樣的？大部分女性都是從媒體獲得的相關(guān)信息（其實都是錯誤信息），她們對這些深信不疑，直到受到現(xiàn)實的沖擊。

2. I wish I’d known more about myself.
我希望我更了解自己。

These women had very little idea of who they were or would like to be when they were not trying to please the people around them.
在卸下取悅他人的面孔后，很多女性根本不知道自己是誰，自己想成為什么樣的人。

3. I wish I hadn’t been in such a hurry so I could’ve taken the time I needed.
我希望我沒有如此趕著結(jié)婚，這樣我就能一切慢慢來。

These women feel pressure to marry prematurely both internally from themselves and from others.
這些女性對于自己和伴侶在不夠成熟的狀況下走入婚姻表示很有壓力。

4. I wish I knew just how much family patterns could influence us.
我希望我了解家庭模式會對我們的婚姻造成怎樣深遠(yuǎn)的影響。

These women were so surprised by how difficult it was to blend their own ideas with their husbands’ family influenced ideas of what marriage was supposed to be like.
這些女性在婚后發(fā)現(xiàn)，很難將自己和丈夫因為不同家庭環(huán)境影響而產(chǎn)生的對婚姻根深蒂固的看法融合到一起。

5. I wish I’d known that bad behavior can get worse.
我希望自己知道壞行為只會變得更糟糕。

This very common response came from women who made excuses for their fiance’s behavior before marriage. They were surprised that they weren’t able to change it.
這是那些為自己的未婚夫在婚前的不良行為找借口的女性的共同反應(yīng)。她們在婚后發(fā)現(xiàn)丈夫根本改不掉那些習(xí)慣。

6. I wish I’d paid a whole lot more attention to money.
我希望我有更關(guān)心錢的問題。

Some women surprised themselves by how capably they managed money once they were forced to do so. Others realized how they have given away their power by not taking joint responsibility for the couple’s money.
有些女性很驚奇的發(fā)現(xiàn)，一旦她們被迫理財，她們就會發(fā)現(xiàn)自己在錢財問題上多么精明能干。還有一些則意識到?jīng)]有跟丈夫共同承擔(dān)家庭財務(wù)責(zé)任，其實是放棄權(quán)力的做法。

7. I wish I’d known what it really takes to make a marriage work.
我希望我知道怎么樣才能經(jīng)營好一段婚姻。

Many of these women shared the challenges they had met in the lessons they’ve learned along the way to help them eventually make their marriages work.
很多女性在經(jīng)營婚姻的道路上都面臨過同樣的挑戰(zhàn)，正是這些挑戰(zhàn)讓她們慢慢摸索出了如何才能經(jīng)營好一段婚姻。

【滬江小編】已婚的姐妹來分享下，你的婚姻課堂 I wish I had known 的事情是什么？未婚的姐妹們也來吐槽下，是什么讓你害怕走進(jìn)婚姻圍城？