While Demi Lovato has been pretty open in discussing her eating disorder and trip to rehab, but in the August issue of Self magazine she discusses the things that made her cut herself for the first time.

The new "X Factor" judge answers a series of questions from readers ranging from what it's like to work on the FOX show ("so much fun!") to what she learned in rehab. On the latter point, she says, "I've spent the past two years getting over an eating disorder and issues like self-harming and bipolar disorder. Unlike a person who doesn't have these problems, I have to work on this stuff every day. I'm reminded of that whenever I eat or feel down."

More from the Self interview:

On self-harming: "There were times I felt so anxious, almost like I was crawling out of my skin, that if I didn't do something physical to match the way I felt inside, I would explode. I cut myself to take my mind off that. I just didn't care what happened. I had no fear."

Her relationship with fellow former Disney star Selena Gomez: "Selena and I aren't as close as we used to be, but she'll always have a place in my heart."

Being diagnosed as bipolar: "Finding out I had a real emotional disorder helped me put together the pieces of the puzzle. I remember being on my tour bus thinking, 'My life is so awesome right now, but I'm so depressed.' Then, a few days later, I'd be on top of the world. It was really confusing. When I got diagnosed, my life made more sense."

Working on being happy: "You can choose to work toward happiness or not. I used to expect it to come to me, but it takes more than seeing a therapist once a week. I make time for myself and meditate. And I haven't used my cell in three months! Subconsciously, it was a crutch. When a room gets quiet, what do you do? Grab your phone! Now I can sit and have conversations with people."

滬江娛樂快訊：盡管黛米?洛瓦托（Demi Lovato）一向不避談自己的飲食失調(diào)癥和康復院之旅，但在八月版的《Self》雜志里她首次談到了自殘的原因。

這位《X音素》（"X Factor"）新晉評委回答了一系列來自讀者的提問，包括擔任《X音素》評委的感受（“太有意思了！”），以及在康復院期間的收獲等等。談到后面這個問題，黛米說道：“過去兩年里，我一直在克服飲食失調(diào)和自殘、躁郁等問題。和沒有此類困擾的人不同，我每天都得應對這些問題，每每吃飯或情緒低落我都深受影響。”此外，黛米還向《Self》雜志講述了許多心路歷程。關于自殘問題她說道：“有幾回我感到非常焦慮，那種情緒幾乎要撐破我的皮囊，以致于我感覺如果不對身體做點什么去迎合這種它的話，我會爆炸的。我不想再焦慮所以拿刀子割了自己，壓根不去管也不害怕這樣做會有什么后果?！?/p>

談到與同為迪士尼童星出身的賽琳娜．戈麥斯（Selena Gomez）之間的友誼，黛米說：“賽琳娜和我確實沒像以前那么親密了，但我心里永遠有個位置屬于她?！?/p>

對于被診斷為躁郁癥一事，黛米說：“得知自己確有情緒紊亂問題時，我將過往的困惑慢慢拼湊起來。我想起自己曾坐在巡演巴士上想：“我的生活是那么美妙，但我卻是如此沮喪?！倍鴰滋旌笪矣指杏X幸福到極點。這種情緒真得很讓人困惑。所以被確診為躁郁癥后，我才將自己的生活看得更明白."

現(xiàn)在，黛米努力讓自己變得快樂，她說：“人可以選擇是否為幸福而奮斗。我曾經(jīng)期盼幸福來敲門，但這遠遠不是一周看一次心理醫(yī)生就能實現(xiàn)的。于是我留出時間靜靜冥想，我曾經(jīng)連續(xù)三個月不用手機。潛意識里，手機是個精神支柱。如果房間里靜下來，你會做什么？當然是拿起手機！但現(xiàn)在，我可以坐著和人們聊聊天。”