職場潛規(guī)則:如何寫出有說服力的電子郵件
WRONG:
Jim,
As you know, employee absenteeism is generally recognized as an ongoing problem with a steep financial impact, both in our company and in other companies in our industries. [yada, yada, yada] Therefore, we should consider allocating money for the installation of a gym at our headquarter facility.
錯誤的說法:
吉姆,
如你所知,員工曠工是一個公認的持續(xù)存在的問題,而且這一問題對我們公司和我們所處行業(yè)的其它公司都有難以承受的財務(wù)影響等等。因此,我們應(yīng)該考慮撥款在我們的總部基礎(chǔ)設(shè)施中建造一個健身房。
RIGHT:
Jim,
I want you to approve the installation of an in-house gym.
正確的說法:
吉姆,
我想讓你批準建立一個內(nèi)部的健身房。
WRONG:
According to a recently published government report, group physical fitness is extremely important even though very few companies actually demonstrate a commitment to it! Many firms identify physical fitness as an undervalued competitive asset, but don't have a plan for improvement in this area, even though physical fitness is strongly linked to corporate and individual economic and personal success. I feel that if we do not address the issue of physical fitness as it enhances workplace productivity, we will be left behind.
錯誤的做法:
根據(jù)最近發(fā)表的一項政府工作報告,團體身體健康情況非常重要,雖然很少有公司會真正地展示出對團體身體健康做出的承諾!很多公司確定身體健康是一項被低估的競爭性資產(chǎn),盡管身體健康與公司和個人的經(jīng)濟和個人成功有密切關(guān)系,但是他們在這個領(lǐng)域還沒有改進計劃。我覺得如果我們不解決身體健康這個問題,我們將會被落下,因為它能提高工作場所的工作效率。
RIGHT:
An in-house gym will:
- Reduce absenteeism.
- Increase overall productivity.
正確的說法:
一個內(nèi)部的健身房將會:
——減少曠工。
——提高整體的生產(chǎn)效率。
WRONG:
An in-house gym will reduce absenteeism because then people will want to come to work rather than stay at home and they won't get sick so much.
錯誤的說法:
內(nèi)部健身房將會減少曠工,因為那時人們將會愿意來工作而不是呆在家里,而且他們也不會生那么多病了。
RIGHT:
- Reduce absenteeism. According to a National Health Institute survey of 1,000 firms, companies with in-house gyms experience 20% less absenteeism than those who lack such facilities.
正確的說法:
-減少曠工。根據(jù)國家健康研究所對1000家公司進行的調(diào)查結(jié)果,有內(nèi)部健身房的公司比沒有內(nèi)部健身房的公司的曠工率少20%。
WRONG:
Your support for this project would be greatly appreciated.
錯誤的說法:
你對此項目的支持,我將不勝感激。
RIGHT:
If you respond to this e-mail with your approval, I'll get the process started.
正確的說法:
如果你回復郵件批準此事,我將啟動這個項目。
WRONG:
Subject: The Health Impact of In-House Employee Fitness Program
錯誤的說法:
主題:內(nèi)部員工健身項目的健康影響
RIGHT:
Subject: How we can reduce absenteeis
正確的說法:
主題:我們能如何減少曠工
WRONG:
To: Jim@
Subject: The Health Impact of In-House Employee Fitness Programs
Jim,
As you know, employee absenteeism is generally recognized as an ongoing problem with a steep financial impact, both in our company and in other companies in our industries. An in-house gym will reduce absenteeism because then people will want to come to work rather than stay at home and they won't get sick so much. Therefore, we should consider allocating money for the installation of a gym at our headquarters facility. Your support for this project would be greatly appreciated.
Jill
錯誤的說法:
至:Jim@
主題:內(nèi)部員工健身項目的健康影響
吉姆,
如你所知,員工曠工是一個公認的持續(xù)存在的問題,而且這一問題對我們公司和我們所處行業(yè)的其它公司都有難以承受的財務(wù)影響。內(nèi)部健身房將會減少曠工,因為那時人們將會愿意來工作而不是呆在家里,而且他們也不會生那么多病了。因此,我們應(yīng)該考慮撥款在總部基礎(chǔ)設(shè)施中建造一個健身房。你對此項目的支持,我將不勝感激。
吉爾
RIGHT:
To: Jim@
Subject: How we can reduce absenteeism
Jim,
I want you to approve the installation of an in-house gym. This will:
- Reduce absenteeism. According to a National Health Institute survey of 1,000 firms, companies with in-house gyms experience 20% less absenteeism than those who lack such facilities.
- Increase productivity. We have 50% more absenteeism than other firms in our industry, so reducing that number by 20% will automatically increase our productivity by 10%.
If you respond to this e-mail with your approval, I'll get the process started.
Jill
正確的說法:
至:Jim@
主題:我們能如何減少曠工
吉姆,我想讓你批準建造一個內(nèi)部的健身房。這將會:
——減少曠工。根據(jù)國家健康研究所對1000家公司進行的調(diào)查結(jié)果,有內(nèi)部健身房的公司比沒有內(nèi)部健身房的公司的曠工率少20%。
——提高生產(chǎn)效率。我們公司比其它同行業(yè)公司的曠工率高出50%,所以把曠工率減少20%自然會把我們的生產(chǎn)效率提高10%。
如果你回復郵件批準此事,我將啟動這個項目。
吉爾
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