Oh, my God! My mom's home. Quick! Get under my bed. What?! Oh, my God! You only get one shot at losing your virginity. And even though I just barely had sex, it counts. What do you mean just barely? Well, he didn't dive all the way into the pool, but he... splashed around in the shallow end. Then you didn't lose your virginity to him. Just barely doesn't count. Yes, it does. No, it doesn't. Yes, it does. No, it doesn't. It doesn't count. End of story. Ooh, why, Lily Aldrin, you saucy little harlot. Could it be that before Marshall took a swim, someone else tested the water? No. Nobody else tested the water, right? Scooter? Who's Scooter? My high school boyfriend, who I did not have sex with. I... I can't believe this. We're Marshall and Lily--when people see us, they say, "Oh, look at them, they've only had sex with each other."