Why is it that when you study a foreign language, you never learn the little phrases that let you slip into a culture without all your foreignness exposed? Every Chinese-language textbook starts out with the standard phrase for greeting people; but as an American, I constantly found myself tongue-tied when it came to seeing guests off at the door. An abrupt goodbye would not do, yet that was all I had ever learned from these books. So I would smile and nod, bowing like a Japanese and trying to find words that would smooth over the visitors' leaving and make them feel they would be welcome to come again. In my fluster, I often hid behind my Chinese husband's graciousness. Then finally, listening to others, I began to pick up the phrases that eased relations and sent people off with a feeling of mission not only accomplished but surpassed.