大家好，這是滬江劍橋商務英語網針對滬江網友在BEC寫作中所遇到的棘手問題而新設的一個作文輔導欄目。每期欄目我們都會邀請到BEC名師對滬江論壇BEC版塊的網友作文進行評點，為各位同學在BEC的考試準備中助你一臂之力。

想讓名師評點你的作文嗎？請訂閱BEC寫作類節(jié)目：BEC作文輔導

本期BEC名師：昂立BEC項目部主任張夢琳老師，擔綱商務英語聽說、企業(yè)團訓聽說主講,曾在知名企業(yè)擔綱首席口譯。從事聽說教學十年之久，最樂意與同學分享職場經歷，她的教學理念是：Enjoy learning English in the rest of your life!

本期作文題目：

You are the manager of a small office. In order to reduce costs and improve the company's environmental practices, you have decided to collect and recycle all paper used in the office.

Write a memo of 40-50 words:

informing staff of the new policy.
explaining how the paper will be collected
requesting staff to co-operate with the scheme.

參考作文：

Sample 48 words

TO: All staff
From: Paul Blake

Please note that from next Monday we are introducing an environmentally friendly scheme. All used paper from the office will be recycled. Used sheets should be placed in the green bin next to the photocopier for collection. All staff ate asked for their full cooperation with this scheme.

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網友作文一：

TO:All staff
FROM:Manager
RE:recycle paper policy

In order to reduce costs and improve our company's environmental practices,I decide to[1] collect and recycle all paper used in the shoud place your paper in the green box near the fountain before 6 pm on friday,we will recycle them once a week.
Cooperate please[2].

_________________________________________
[1]你不是公司的助理或者負責清潔的吧？怎么自己去collect paper? 改為：it is decided to ....
[2]這句話應該放在上面一段的最尾。不是please, 而是we need your cooperation.

網友作文二：

To: All staff
From: Mr. Za

Here is the new policy aim to[1] reduction the costs[2] and improvement of the environmental practices of our company. Used paper in this office, on effect of this policy, should be collected by one appointed clerk each day for recycle use by selling them to recycle bin for a profit. [3] Please cooperate with this policy for our own good and each one will serve the duty in turn. [4]
Thank you

_________________________________________
[1]結構問題，后面應該是分詞做定語或狀語，改為：aiming to
[2]反了，應該是：cost reduction 另外，aim to 是個動詞詞組，to 是介詞么？ 后面應該是動詞詞組。
[3]公司要靠賣廢品來取得利潤么？這句話說得可是太掉價了。去掉吧。
[4]去掉。

背景補遺：

1.什么是BEC（劍橋商務英語考試）？
2.學習BEC需具備什么樣的基礎？
3.如果準備考BEC，有哪些書籍參考呢？
4.滬江有相應的BEC學習小組嗎？
5.BEC在滬江有哪些節(jié)目推薦呢？
6.2009年BEC考試報名日期是多久？
7.報考前我想做做SuperBEC商務口語測試>>