1.?They compare their behavior now to their behavior when they dated.?
他們總是拿現(xiàn)在的行為與他們戀愛(ài)時(shí)比較。

Couples are never more romantic than in the early days of a relationship. It's inevitable that some of the romance will fade over time. ?A spouse in an unhappy marriage might complain ‘you used to be so romantic! Unfortunately, the other partner's response is often a defensive one -- 'Hey, that was before we had three kids!
很多夫妻婚后的關(guān)系都不會(huì)像剛開(kāi)始戀愛(ài)時(shí)那么浪漫。隨著時(shí)間的推移，浪漫不在也是不可避免的事實(shí)。不幸婚姻中的夫妻可能會(huì)抱怨另一半曾經(jīng)是那么的浪漫。然后不幸的是，另一半的反應(yīng)通常都是還擊：嘿，那是我們?cè)趽碛腥齻€(gè)孩子前的事了。

Instead of getting bogged down in the past, "see what happens when you tell your spouse you miss him or her”."Oftentimes it is intimacy that we are seeking with our spouse and anger only serves to push him or her away. Communication is the bridge to intimacy. When we feel connected with our spouse, we feel loved and valued."?
與其受過(guò)去所牽絆，當(dāng)事情發(fā)生時(shí)不如告訴你的另一半：你想念過(guò)去的他/她。時(shí)常當(dāng)我們想要尋找夫妻間的親密感覺(jué)時(shí)，憤怒往往會(huì)將另一半推開(kāi)。溝通是達(dá)到親密關(guān)系的橋梁。當(dāng)我們感覺(jué)到自己和另一半連在一起時(shí)，我們也會(huì)感覺(jué)到被愛(ài)與被珍視。

2.?They're pros at passive aggression.?
他們總是將爭(zhēng)吵愈演愈烈

The road to divorce is paved with passive aggressive digs.If your partner models contemptuous behavior, you'll most likely pick up that vibe and escalate the issue.The next time you argue, take note of how one person's attitude is contagious.Instead of matching attitude, stop the bad-attitude train. Listen respectively and try to figure out what exactly your partner is trying to say to you.
通往離婚的道路上鋪滿了消極的相互攻擊的陷阱。如果你的另一半正在效仿輕蔑的舉止，你最好能夠迅速覺(jué)察到并盡快采取措施解決問(wèn)題。下一次當(dāng)你們爭(zhēng)吵時(shí)，可以注意一下一個(gè)人的態(tài)度是多么地容易傳染。與其被傳染，不如切斷這個(gè)消極態(tài)度傳染線。各自相互傾聽(tīng)彼此的聲音，努力找出對(duì)方真正想要表達(dá)的意思。

3. They can't agree on who's right and who's wrong.
在誰(shuí)對(duì)誰(shuí)錯(cuò)上他們很難達(dá)成一致

It's exhausting to be in a relationship with someone who has to have the final say in everything.?Partners who need to be right at the expense of their loved one's feelings push each other away.
在一段關(guān)系中碰到一個(gè)什么都得他/她說(shuō)了算的另一半實(shí)在是一件令人筋疲力盡的事情。這樣的人付出的代價(jià)就是將相愛(ài)的雙方越推越遠(yuǎn)。

They try to get the other person to submit by shaming them, bullying them, out-smarting them or shutting them out. If you're a partner who constantly needs to be right, ask yourself: What's so important to my S.O. about this issue? What about it am I not seeing? This will shift the dynamic from adversarial to allied.
他們?cè)噲D通過(guò)羞辱，欺壓，斗智或者讓其出局等方式來(lái)迫使另一半聽(tīng)從自己。如果你也是這樣的一個(gè)人，那么你需要問(wèn)自己：是什么讓你覺(jué)得由你來(lái)做決定如此重要？如果我不知道這件事情又會(huì)怎么樣？這樣也許可以幫助將敵對(duì)的狀態(tài)轉(zhuǎn)換為合作的狀態(tài)。