These days, you have to watch your back.Danger may be lurking where you least expect it.
最近危機四伏 你可得小心

You may find a relative, friend or neighbor coming after one thing - your brain!
親戚、朋友、鄰居也許會爭先恐后撲向你——咬你腦袋

This Halloween is forecasted to be a high season for zombie attacks
萬圣節(jié)是僵尸肆虐的節(jié)日

This is Zombies in Plain English.
僵尸攻略

The first step is identifying a zombie.
先學(xué)習(xí)辨認(rèn)僵尸

Let’s take your uncle Dan. Here is Dan as we all know him - a normal guy.
以段大叔為例，這是正常的段大叔

Now let’s look at Dan as a zombie.
變成僵尸的大叔是什么模樣呢？

Notice the unnatural mouth position and dark eyes... the shoulders will be off-kilter, arms, reaching, grabbing. Legs, limpy- skin, pale. This is a zombie.
駝背、步履蹣跚、張牙舞爪、膚色慘白、爛嘴巴、黑眼圈

Be careful this Halloween - you may see people that resemble zombies.
萬圣節(jié)你要仔細辨認(rèn)哦 有些人打扮得像僵尸

Remember, zombies don’t eat candy - only brains.
真僵尸不吃糖 只吃人腦

You may also see them dancing with Michael Jackson
跟邁克?杰克遜一起跳舞的也不是僵尸

these are actors. Zombies don’t dance!
他們是演員 做僵尸沒心情跳舞

When you encounter a real zombie, it’s time to have a plan. Here’s how to survive an attack.
做好準(zhǔn)備 遇到真僵尸才不怕 下面教你對付僵尸

Your first reaction may be to retreat to a home or business.
多數(shù)人躲在家里或辦公樓里

This is only a short term solution because they will never stop - ever.
這些地方不宜久留 因為僵尸會窮追猛打

Instead, consider heading to a CostCo. Don’t plan to wait out an attack without proper rations.
最好躲進大型超市 那里不愁吃喝

Now keep your cool - remember that zombies may move quickly in the early stages of infection
保持冷靜 別以為僵尸動作慢

Don’t underestimate their speed.
感染初期 它們身手也很敏捷

Also, consider a retreat to high altitudes...
不妨躲到山上

studies have shown that zombies react poorly to cold weather, causing them to become brittle and slow.
研究表明 僵尸在低溫下行動遲緩 肢體易斷裂

Lastly, zombies can’t swim, so a retreat via boat can help. And remember those rations.
僵尸不能游泳 乘船也比較靠譜。別忘了帶上口糧。

If you’re not the retreating type, the obvious next move is counter-attack.
如果自覺孔武有力 還可以反擊

This brings us to our last step - how to kill the UNdead.
最后教你干掉這些活死人

The simple idea is... kill the brain, stop the zombie.
最簡單的辦法砸爛腦袋

This is generally done through head trauma or decapitation. But any method that removes the zombie-brain’s ability to direct the undead body will work.
砍掉也行 總之要讓它身首異處

As starting points, we suggest large caliber bullets to the head, or decapitation via machete, ax or chainsaw.
建議新手用大口徑子彈爆頭，大刀、斧頭、電鋸也挺管用

Now, chainsaws are advanced tools that should be used carefully.
電鋸雖然給力 使用要小心

Napalm or grenades can also be effective, but be carefull!
燃燒彈和手榴彈效果也很好 但要注意

A flaming zombie can be even more dangerous than a real one.
燒著沒有死透的通僵尸更可怕

If your friend has a zombie bite, unfortunately there is only one outcome. Infection is absolutely irreversible.
萬一朋友被僵尸咬了 千萬別救他

Don’t bother with antiseptic or band-aids. Your friend is not your friend anymore.
沒得救 他已經(jīng)不是你朋友了

Face the inevitable and save your brain. Kill them with dignity before they become undead too.
趁還沒變身 趕緊干掉他

Remember: Be prepared. Plan your route and rations, be on the lookout, and when they...
記住：找好藏身點，備足口糧，時刻警惕...

Whoa - this just in! We’ve receive an unconfirmed report that zombies have been sighted in southern British Columbia.
剛收到消息 北面發(fā)現(xiàn)僵尸

They may be heading south. Repeat. Heading South.
它們正朝南進發(fā) 重復(fù)一遍 朝南

Sachi? What the?
親愛的，你怎么啦？

Did you hear that? Uhhh, uuuuuh.
那是什么？ 啊...

The question is: Are you prepared?
你準(zhǔn)備好了么？

Have a fun, safe and zombie-free Halloween from your friends at Common Craft.
《原來如此》節(jié)目祝您渡過一個安全無毒無害的萬圣節(jié)

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